Lessons from my Mother-Mrs F.T aka "Mama Lawyer"

Mrs Florence  Tom-Lawyer nee Memuduaghan

I am grateful to God for this opportunity to share with you some lessons I learnt from my mother, As a child growing up, I confess that my secret fantasy was for the arrival of my real mother. But time has proved that those early days of discipline was necessary  for  future gain. I received  the beating of my life when I stole one naira (pound) as a child of five .I never took anything that was not mine after that! Later on, the great virtue of contentment was communicated to me as I noticed that my mum  is neither competitive nor jealous.

I learnt from my mother the need to pray to God who is the true owner of children. She   taught me the discipline of fasting as a little child by ensuring  I participated in the monthly children fasting programme in our church. She showed me respect for God by being on time for services in church. I learnt ministerial ethics from her as I watched her serve as a leader in church and on many committees. She has great respect for her pastors and is a committed member. She still attends choir practice meetings and joins the women in her church to clean as scheduled on the rota.

 I learnt caring for people by watching the ministry of my mother who has a genuine concern for people. She taught by her actions the meaning of  true friendship. Continuously, I saw her friends depend on her, when they travelled she checked up on their families and up to this day, my mum still calls some of my friends both home and abroad to enquire about their welfare. This care is also extended to members of her immediate and extended family.

 I  learnt the importance of expressing gratitude from her; once she asked my elder sisters to accompany me to thank a friend's father who gave me one naira. I just mentioned this in passing but she took it seriously.

I learnt from my mother the art of living peacefully with others. As long as I can remember, I am yet to   see my mum exchange words with anyone. She made me realize that it is okay to listen only. She once told me "if you do not have anything to say, keep quiet”.

I am still learning.

Happy Mother’s day.

Grace Tom-Lawyer

Lessons from a former escort,my Mother-Mrs R.S

Rahab  Salmon 

There is a probability that you may have heard about my mother. I am not sure of the circumstances that led to her choosing such an inglorious profession. As a prostitute, it was business as usual until one day she was met by two customers who approached her with a different agenda. They were spies from a neighbouring people who came to check her city which was due to be destroyed.

I learnt from her the importance of being conversant and listening to the news of the day. She knew the history of the people in the world around her and so recognized her opportunity to save herself when she met the spies.I gleaned from her wisdom as I noticed that she did not procrastinate but acted quickly when she was told to tie a scarlet rope down her house as a symbol so  she will not be destroyed. My mother also taught me the importance of multiple streams of income. She also dyed and sold cloth and so used these materials she spread on her roof to hide the spies.

My mother had a heart for her family, she was interested in their welfare and when the opportunity arose, she negotiated their safety. Although she was a prostitute, she had such impact and influence on her family members that commanded such respect which made them come when she sent for them. She did not lose concern for her family and so taught me to take practical steps along with interceding for my family.

 But  most of all, I like the fact that my mother's story did not end where she started. After she and her family were saved ,she started a new life by marrying my dad  Salmon a prince, who was one of the spies. It was such a great romance story, there was enough grace and love to forgive her and cleanse the shame of her past. She gave birth to me and she is one of the only two women that is mentioned in the Hall of faith in Hebrews 11.

 Read more in Judges 2:1-24,6:17-25

I guess the greatest lesson I learnt from my mum is not to let the past define me or my future. She started out as a prostitute but ended up an ancestress in the lineage of Jesus. Her past did not determine her future and so does yours. 

Happy Mother's day.

Lessons from my Mother-a Pastor's wife:Mrs E.Z

Mrs Elizabeth Zechariah

My mother taught me a lot by the decisions she made. I learnt that in long term relationships, I should commit to only people of like minds as she showed in her choice of a life partner, my father who  was also from a priestly lineage like her.

Although my parents were dedicated godly believers, they did not have any children. I am learning not to judge people by their problems and think that a current challenge is a result of sin.

I also learnt from her the importance of serving God for who He is and not for what He can give. As a pastor's wife, she continued to support my dad and encouraged him to be faithful in his priestly duties until one day during the course of duty, my birth was announced to my dad by an angel and their prayers for a child  was answered.

My mother seemed to be strongly conscious of her relationships and taught me the art of recognizing and spending time with people who “cause the baby in your womb to leap”. This she did with my second cousin Mary came to visit her when she was pregnant and stayed with my mum for three months. 

They learnt a lot from each other during their pregnancies although at different stages and were both strengthened to give birth to their “babies” when they parted. This has made me to continue take the time to invest in destiny oriented relationships knowing that every Mary needs an Elizabeth.

She also taught me to honour my father. This was shown when there was a contest as to the name I should be called. She told our relations who were disagreeable but she asked them to ask my father who wrote "his name shall be called John" and wonder of wonders, my father who had been dumb since the conception of my pregnancy began talking again!

Giving birth to me in her old age brought joy to my mum who had been written off as barren teaching me God may not answer when I want but His answer  will be right on time.

 

Happy Mother’s day.

Lessons from my Mother-in-law :Mrs N.E

Mrs Naomi  Elimelech

I like to talk about my mother in-law as I learnt some valuable lessons from her.

I began to live with her after having married one of her two sons. Her family had migrated from her country of a different faith to mine. Her faith in her God was proved as one disaster after the other struck. She became a widow and so did I and my sister in- law, leaving us all childless. She then decided to go back to her hometown based on a rumour that the economic circumstances had changed for the better.

One of the first things I learnt from her is that it is never too late to retrace one's steps and  start all over again. Also I learnt that a leader must be able to effectively communicate the vision so people can run with it. She talked about her God and her nation so well that I decided to leave my own country and follow her. However it was not just the talk that attracted me, it was her walk. I also learnt from her that not everyone can follow you to the place of your destiny and if people are not committed to your vision, it is okay to kiss them goodbye. This she did with my sister in-law. I learnt not be afraid to let people go as some people in my life are only for a reason and a season.

She showed me   selflessness as she mentored me when we got to her hometown which led to my remarriage to one of their most honourable men. She made me realize that in helping others achieve their dreams, mine will be fulfilled. Even when I had my baby, she was so much into my own dream that her milk began to flow and she nursed my baby. Her dream of being a grandmother was fulfilled.

Finally, I learnt from her that our pain can serve as a platform for effective ministry to others. She was able to empathize with her daughters- in-law   when we became widows because she was one.

In hindsight, I learnt also that I should make decisions based on God’s words and not circumstances. I decided to follow her   when the prospects were bleak but that decision brought me, a foreigner into the lineage of Jesus Christ.

Read about me and my mother -in-law in the  book of Ruth.

Ruth Boaz saying" Happy Mother's Day".

Lessons from my Mother-Mrs H.E

Mrs Hannah Elkanah

My mother was called Hannah meaning “gracious” and her character was true to her name. She married with excitement like her mates but this soon turned to sorrow as she did not have any children and her barrenness was further proved when my dad married my step mother who gave birth to five children and began to taunt my mum whose home soon became a living nightmare. She lived under shame but she still continued to trust God.

My mum taught me that my  worship should  not be  affected by my  problems as she  continued  to serve God by faithfully continuing to  go  to Shiloh every year . She also taught me that the best person to unburden my heart was to God. Although she was childless she was not prayerless and insensitive to the issues around her and took advantage of the burden in God’s house by asking for a son who would serve him. She taught me to remember to keep the promises I made to God in prayer and her dedication and decision altered my destiny and made me serve as a  priest,prophet and a judge in my nation.

I also learnt the importance of honouring the pastors because once she was falsely accused by her pastor as being drunk while she was praying. Although she had every reason to be rude, she responded graciously out of respect and received a blessing. 

Most of all I learnt from her that  one of the greatest tests of my devotion to God is to be faithful inspite of my circumstances and  to love  the giver above the gift , to express my gratitude to God and that no one can outgive God(she gave a son and had five more children). She also taught me that my enemies needed to live long so they could see the table prepared for me as my stepmother saw that her once previously barren mate had through the power of a prayer answering God become the mother of six children! Yes she taught me that no situation is beyond the power of prayer and it is not over until God says so. 

Happy Mother’s Day 

N.B Let’s hear what your mother taught you, read more about my mum.

Honoring our Mothers.

Hi all,I am sure  you have noticed the new pink background change.This is in honor of  all mums and Mother's day which is just around the corner ,specifically on  Sunday,30th March , 2014.There is not a single person who got here without a mum.Maybe you have not yet bought a present yet or you are just wondering of a special way to honor your mum or the mother of your children.

This year , you can do so in words letting her know how much you learnt from her and we will also be featuring it on this blog starting from March 23rd .So this is the time to write, it is better she sees these things while she is alive and a link will also be available so you can share with all your friends and family to honor your mum with you.The essay is "Lessons I learnt from my Mum/Mother".This should be done in no more than 350 words.You can also upload a picture of her .
Remember it does not have to be your biological mother.

Entries can be sent directly to justflourish@gmail.com  or using the contact form below.You will receive an acknowledgement and be told the date it will be featured.

Happy Mother's day in advance.
Grace Tom-Lawyer

Faithfulness&church

“You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing….” Hebrews 10:25a NCV

We are encouraged as believers by the Bible to be involved in a local church. Watching online services should not replace regular attendance in local meetings.

I believe first of all, we should prayerfully choose a church and be committed to her progress and if we do change church, it is faithfulness not to run down our previous congregation knowing that since churches are made up of imperfect people, our new church will also have her issues! If we change church continuously, it could be a sign that we do not want to be held accountable or are having problems with forgiveness.

 We should be faithful in praying for our pastors as they serve as a covering and be concerned also about their welfare.

 Faithfulness also means being financially committed to the church. Paying our tithes at a different church from where we worship regularly is best illustrated by Joyce Meyer’s statement of “eating in McDonalds and paying at KFC”! (two different eateries).Sometimes this is done due to ignorance or just an egoistical need for acknowledgement by someone. There is no justification for wanting to pay the tithe where we think it will be felt. It is also not wrong to support other ministries with gifts.

It also means being faithful to serve in an activity group. It is not faithfulness to attend meetings only when we are doing a function or be absent or late without the courtesy of informing the leaders. Many activity group leaders know the frustration of working with volunteers who cannot be counted on. It would also help if we do not over commit to things, having to say no at times in order to be effective. And if you are a leader of a group, lead by all means as your followers will not be more passionate than what they see you do and sometimes after prayerful consideration, it may be part of faithfulness to resign rather than just holding a title. What if you are not in a group? Find one, create one. It could be picking up the litter on the days you eventually get to church. The benefits of everyone being involved is so that the few committed people are not overwhelmed.

Let us be faithful as we serve in our churches being committed to her values and vision.

Grace Tom-Lawyer

Faithful at work

“And since our first duty is to be faithful to the one we work for”. - 1 Corinthians 4:2 CEV

“Now the most important thing about a servant is that he does just what his master tells him to do”. – 1 Corinthians 4:2 TLB

“The requirements of a guide are reliability and accurate knowledge”.-1 Corinthians 4:2 MSG

We should also be faithful at work. An unnecessary  line of distinction is usually  drawn between our secular jobs and work done at church with the erroneous notion that the latter is more important but all our work is unto  God who is  present at all times  and expects faithfulness. We are not doing it to be seen by people nor doing it for a pay cheque rather our work ethics should reflect the excellence of the God we so claim to serve. Our integrity at work should be unquestionable and our dependability unwavering. Our bosses should be sorry to see us leave and our colleagues should always have a sense of joy working with us. If we handover at the end of our shifts, it should not be with a myriad of duties which should have been covered under our shift. This is not to say that we will always be appreciated because sometimes we will even be criticized because we are doing things well. This work ethics includes coming to work on time .This work could even mean   staying at home, taking care of kids, washing the dishes or doing the laundry but God expects we do it with excellence. It may be menial, not the kind of job we think we should be doing however one of the true test of greatness is doing the little things well, even when we are not applauded.

 Also the TLB translation says that the servant should do just what his master tells him to do .If you have ever supervised at any level, you may have felt the frustration of people not doing what they have been asked to do.

I like also the Message translation that says one should have reliability and accurate knowledge. We need to do to take the time to acquire accurate and up to date information about our areas of expertise in our jobs as this will not only keep us relevant and indispensable but enable the delivery of better service which ultimately is faithfulness.

Yours Faithfully,

Grace Tom-Lawyer

Faithful as friends

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful”. Proverbs 27:6 KJV Kings James Version

“Friends mean well, even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder, watch out”. Proverbs 27:6 GNT Good News Translation 

God has placed friends along my path in life   for which I remain eternally grateful as they have also helped to shape the course of my life. Unlike our family members, we get to choose our friends although several circumstances may have enhanced these. Friendships are built overtime and require effort.

Being faithful as a friend means being a person of our words. It simply means being dependable. It means we can be counted on to be there at all seasons. A faithful friend will always make the other person better, calling out the gifts of God in their lives while being able to see them as they could be. It means to love them enough to listen and believe in them, be their cheer leader helping to drown discouraging voices. Faithfulness also means rejoicing genuinely with their successes and sharing their pain. It is difficult to have a friend without being one.

It also involves being able to tell our friends, with sensitivity the truth although this may sometimes cause strain in the relationship.

It also demands we faithfully keep confidences. Secrets shared with a friend are not to be repeated, no matter how we sometimes craftily do so under the guise of a prayer request! It is a weakness of character to share the secrets of our friends but truth be told, this we sometimes do to put ourselves in a better light. It takes faithfulness to also exercise discretion although not being genuinely concerned about our friends is a recipe for gossip.

Faithfulness means taking the time to know their needs as the relationship evolves and giving them what they need and not what they used to need or what we think they need. How to know? Just ask.

And since they are human and would err from time to time, we must be faithful to forgive them and respect the relationship even when it undergoes a transition by saying as little and as positive about it to others.

 As a child , I  used to cherish cards and my earliest memories was a card given by a  in primary school which erroneously read "God could not be everywhere so he made friends". I cherished it then but looking back today, I would rather it read "God is everywhere and as a reminder, he made friends" as my friends usually remind me of God.

Celebrating friendship

Grace Tom-Lawyer

Are we faithful?

As children of God, it is imperative that this character of his faithfulness is seen in our lives which generally starts in the family. Although families comes in different shapes, we have all been uniquely placed by divine orchestration. God in his wisdom did not allow us choose our families but demands our faithfulness to them. How can we be faithful to our families?

It means that as children we should obey our parents early in life and as the dynamics change, honour them .It also means consistent enquiry of their welfare. This may not always be monetary based but may be as simple as a phone call .It will be right to say that  our children are also watching the way we treat our parents and may treat us just the same. It means that as parents we take the time to know our children, observe them for their uniqueness and try our best to guide them in the way that enables efficient use of their gifts and talents rather than comparing them with others. It is faithfulness to discipline them as the need arises. It is also being faithful to your primary role as a father to provide and protect your family and as a mother to nurturing and being a helpmeet. I get weary of meeting strangers who on their first conversation with me feel the need to let me know how bad their spouses are!

So what of our siblings? As the demands of life pull us further away from each other, it is going to take more than mere wishing to keep in touch with them. The fact that they are siblings does not necessarily translate to friendship and so apart from praying for them, let us take the time to know them,communicating always with a non-judgmental attitude.

 We sometimes fall guilty of treating outsiders better than we treat our family members. Would it shock our family members if they watch a replay of us at work or at church? Are we more generous with our money, our comments outside than at home when it matters the most? It is amazing how people can be greeters in church and never smile at home!

Not everyone will like to admit it but the truth is that we may not like all our family members we love, but faithfulness means sticking together through the thick and thin.

Faithfully,

Grace Tom-Lawyer